CHAPTER 16

On the 10th of July 1937, at 5 o'clock in the morning, I went off to the 2nd City Hospital, now known as Stradins'-named Republican Hospital (Prof. Stradins' was a prominent Latvian physician – Tr.). At that time women "from families like mine" gave birth in private clinics and that cost a great deal of money. I refused "on principle" to do that and decided to have my baby where all the "simple folks" did, all the more so since this hospital was regarded as the university hospital and students were treated there for free. Thus, I did not even have to pay the 5 Latts fee for giving birth there as other women did. (In private hospital the fee would be 200 Latts.)

I did not feel like eating breakfast and by lunchtime I was already "driven off" to give birth… When they told me: "You have a girl!" I felt great happiness. The time was 14.55.

They showed me the baby after she was swaddled up and looked like a little 'babushka'. She had a flat little nose, her eyes were closed and with the white nappy covering her head she looked like a little parcel. I was then taken back to the ward where there were five other women. Soon Father came to visit me (at that time the hospital allowed visitors to come in). He sat down on a chair near my bed and asked with much sympathy in his voice: "Does it hurt?" I burst out laughing: "Father, I now have a little girl!" He hardly believed me…Then Tusya came and brought me some wonderful juicy pears. I was so hungry, I could hardly bear it. After all, I had not eaten the whole day! I still remember that feeling of hunger because they only brought me some oats porridge at 6 o'clock in the evening and at 6 o'clock in the morning they brought in the baby to be fed. So, still feeling hungry I fed her and got my breakfast later,at 9 o'clock.

After I fed her I had a good look at her. She had a red spot on her nose and another one, on her leg, above the heel. The little fingers on her hands and her legs were fine. Tusya told me expressly to check that. The baby had black hair and her nails were long so that when the nurses went away I cut them. I was told that the spot on her nose will later disappear and it did. The one above her heel remained there.

During those years women were kept in hospital for 10 days after giving birth. There were also other regulations which I did not know about: before leaving a city hospital with her baby the mother was supposed to inform the authorities of the name given to the baby and this was registered there and then. Yet, we did not agree on a certain name beforehand, so when I was asked what the baby's name will be I said right away "Iren". This was, in fact, the only name we ever brought up and it was influenced by J.Galsworthy's "Forsyte Saga". We also wanted an "international" name ("After all, who knows where she might end up living?!").

I took my little Iren to our place at the seaside. The first three weeks she woke up at 4.30 every night and cried. I knew that I should not feed her at night and was very distressed about that. Then Dr. Lempert said that I should feed her once more, starting at 5 o'clock in the morning and everything went well. This is when Zyama started singing "Oh, Iren, my little baby!" and started calling me "little girl". This is when I turned from an older sister into a younger sister.

At the end of that summer our family "fell apart". Zyama got married and Father did too. Sashen'ka moved to live with Father and his new wife, who had a little boy (they perished during the German occupation). I moved into a very unsuitable flat. It was very hard to find a suitable one because I needed a large room for my children's group. I found a flat in Blauman St., on the first floor. It had two rooms, one for us and another one for the children's group lessons. There was absolutely no sunlight there. By that time Iren was a lovely fat little girl. I kept recording everything about her: what she ate, how she developed, how she smiled and when she raised her head, etc.etc.

A photographer came to our apartment and made pictures of her. Here she is four and a half months' old. This is another picture of Iren at the same age. I am wearing here the only dark-green dress I have ever had in my life.

This picture was made when Iren was eight months' old. Iren was a fat girl and did not sit up for quite a while. In the morning of the 10th of March, on the very day she became eight months' old, she sat down for the first time. I remember getting up in the morning and seeing: here is my little girl sitting up and laughing. After that she started getting up on her feet and at the age of eight and a half months she could stand in her little bed, grabbing at the netting.

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