The Summer of 1922
CHAPTER 11
Going to the Seaside for the First Time
The "dacha" or the summer house was rented that summer
– in 1922 – in Karlsbad I (which later changed its name to Pumpuri
in Latvian), on Line 17 (as streets were then called at the seaside),
and the house stood very close to the beach of the blue sea.
The house was rented for both our family and Aunt Sonya's. Moving
to the seaside for the summer called for a lot of packing. The belongings
were packed in large woven baskets, big parcels and, I think, suitcases. The luggage was taken over there by a horse-drawn cart and we took
the train. I think the train stopped near the bridge over the river
Lielupe and we had to cross the bridge to take another train to
continue our journey. When during that summer we started playing a game
pretending that we were travelling by train we tried to copy everything
that took place during our train trip. First of all, one of us yelled
"Board the train!", then there was a whistle, the train
was supposed to move and someone imitated the noise it made as it
as it moved off. Then tickets were checked and "passengers"
left at the different stops that our train had made. We announced
the list of the names of all the stops as if it was a poem (their
names have changed since them from German into Latvian): Riga-Tornsberg-Zassenhof-Zolitude-Pupe-Bulli-Bilderngshof-Edinburg-1
– Edinburg-2 – Majorenhof- Dubbeln – Karlsbad -1 – Karlsbad -2-
Asari -1- Asari-2 – Sloka – Kemeri. I think Priedaine is missing
from this list. It was called Sosnovoye then and there was no train
stop there. The German names turned into Tornjakalns and Zasulauks
and Avoti, Dzintari, Mayori, Dubulti, Melluzhi, Pumpuri and Vaivari
appeared too but that happened much later. The train game was great
fun and it was an important part of our summertime life. …
Let me now go back to the first days of our first summer near the
sea. As soon as we arrived I wanted to see it. I was told that the
sea is very close and I was told in which direction I should go. The path lead slightly uphill. I walked and walked for what seemed
a very long time and I still did not see the sea. I felt uncomfortable
all alone and turned back. They were surprised at home that I did
not see the sea and the next day, when I went up there with Mother,
it appeared that it was a five-minutes' walk. From the top of the
little hill one could see the sea going up to the horizon. Why did
the road seem so long yesterday and why did I fail to go up to the
top? I felt ashamed of myself: it was a matter of a few more steps!
What a summer it was! Our landlady had four or five houses which
she rented out for the summer to families with children. The four
of us were the youngest and there was no time to get bored. All
of us got together and we spent whole days playing.
I remember our summer house very well, especially the veranda with
its glass windows. Some of the glass was tinted and it had a picture
of a yellow sun with long rays of light. The windows were especially
pretty in the evening. It was a one-storey house, but it was long,
as must have been the fashion then. The veranda lead into a hall,
there were small rooms on both sides of it and a corridor lead into
a kitchen "in the back". Our landlady kept cows, horses
and chicken and we went to watch how the cows were milked. We got
on good terms with the landlady's daughters and one of them, Austra,
who was my age, became my good friend. She was a nice happy girl
with straight fair hair and a lovely smile. Karlsbad was, of course, very different from what
Pumpuri is today. A typical feature of the area was the ruined side
of the street. After all, everything was just starting to recover
from World War I. Thus, when we walked along Line 17 from the road
to the beach there were summer houses on one side but the other
side was full of ruined houses or houses that were raised to the
ground. There were some parts of walls, debris, bits of glass, hills
of sand, concrete or bricks. Bushes and pine trees were growing
all over the place. These ruined spaces became our playground. We
used to walk around there, went down into what used to be basements,
looked around on the ground and found lots of wonderful things. The most interesting of them were bullets and cartridges… We knew
that they were used during the war. However, five years passed since
then and the war did not appear in our games at all. It seemed a
very distant event. The bullets and the cartridges were just another
discovery, like a nice colored stone, a shell or some colored glass
that was considered a prized possession. It so happened that the
verandas of many of the summer houses built there were decorated
with colored glass. The sites of the houses destroyed during the
war were full of bits of that glass. We found pieces of yellow,
orange, green and blue glass in the sand, the surrounding debris
and in the forest and used to hold them against the sun, like some
magical glasses. The world around us changed colors.
Everything we found was a source of rejoicing. There was also a
law: whoever found something yelled to the others: "Was hab'ich
gefunden!" ("Look what I found!" in German), while
the others yelled back: "Zeig'her! Zeig'her!" ("Show
us! Show us!"). There was a certain sing-song to both these
cries. These were moments of real discovery, of gripping "archeological
expeditions" in which we engaged often and for a long time. My Second Bad Dream
The "expeditions" on the other side of our street, in
the forest and the empty spaces nearby are connected with my second
bad dream. It haunted me for a long time. …We were doing a "khorovod" (a Russian
folkdance, danced by women who move in a circle and accompany their
dance by singing – Tr. ) and everything was lovely, happy and peaceful. Suddenly an enormous bird, a parrot or a kite, appeared in the sky
and it was flying round and round above us. We stopped, paralyzed
by fright, and saw that it was descending, coming towards us. Suddenly
the bird attacked me by pecking at my left foot above the knee. I screamed with pain and horror and… woke up. It is dark. There
is no-one dancing and no big bird, but the fear paralyses me. Even
though my leg does not hurt but I clearly feel the spot where the
bird touched me. I am scared and I am afraid to move…
We Are Feeling So Insulted
I have already mentioned that all of us, "the smaller children",
used to play all together, we were all friendly and no-one picked
on one another. I only remember one major quarrel.
We were all planning to go somewhere to play, either to the forest
nearby or to one of the clearings, and suddenly someone said that
we are not going to take Zyama with us because he was too small. Zyama was 6 years' old then and he was a short thin boy who was
considered a weak child. When the whole group decided that Zyama
could not come to play, he started to cry. He sat down on the porch
and cried very hard. I was so sorry for him and I felt so hurt that
I sat next to him on the porch and began to cry too. While we were
sitting there both crying, the other children walked around us,
imitating our crying and repeating all sorts of insults. One of
those children was…Yoka! That was just too much, that was an act
of betrayal that lead to even more bitter tears. Then they all left
and Zyama and I remained all alone on the porch…
Cigarettes and Tea
Memories of Karlsbad make me think of Mother's pedagogical principles,
about her approach to us and our upbringing. It was based on the
idea of freedom, on absence of pressure or excessive discipline. All these remained with all of us, children, influencing both our
characters and our behavior. The first memorable event took place
in Karlsbad that summer. It had to do with cigarettes.
Yoka wanted very much to try smoking. It was, of course, strictly
forbidden. Yet he kept talking about it again and again, asking
permission to do so. One day Mother said that she would get him
some cigarettes and he could have a smoke. She did buy them and
gave them to Yoka. I remember well how Yoka, wearing an expression
of great self-importance, took a cigarette in front of all the grown-ups,
lit a match (he was 6 at the time) and started smoking. After he
inhaled once or twice he started coughing, felt sick and had to
be put to bed. I, however, "seized the opportunity": I
took a cigarette and managed to smoke it all without a single cough. I was very glad that I managed to finish a whole cigarette. Yoka,
on the other hand, never spoke about smoking after that and never
even looked at a cigarette. He remained a non-smoker all his life
(even if he did smoke a pipe from time to time).
In Tamara's case, Mother allowed her "to have tea". She
was usually given milk or cocoa to drink, but she asked for tea
and was never allowed to have it. One day Mother said: "Sonya,
why don’t you give her a cup of tea!?" We were all sitting
around the table on the veranda and Mother herself poured a cup
of tea from the "samovar" for Tamara. The tea was then
poured into a saucer and Tamara drank saucer after saucer full of
tea, until the cup was empty. She enjoyed every drop of it. Mother
smiled as she passed the tea to Tamara.
We were not asked to do things against our will. Maybe already then
I understood that and this is why I remembered how Mother allowed
both Yoka and Tamara,who was three and a half then, to have something
they had long dreamed about, thus freeing them of the feeling of
something being unattainable, a feeling that can become a burden
on one's heart. We Are Being Photographed
Some photographs remained from the period we spent in Karlsbad. (These photographs were in Tamara's possession until 1953, when
they were confiscated during her unlawful arrest. ) We were photographed
in pairs, according to the friendship ties between us or rather
according to what the grown-ups thought these ties were: Yoka and
I and then Zyama and Tamara. Both couples were supposed to be "kissing"
and that's how we were photographed. Our friendships did not last
too long because we all went to different schools and no longer
lived together. Yoka and Zyama were friends when they were about
10 to 12, while the difference in age between me and Tamara was
too large for becoming friends. There were times when we become
better friends and sometimes we drew apart, but it did not last
long. In any case, during that summer the friendships were what
they were and I still remember those photographs. Zyama and Tamara
are sitting there kissing, while our picture was different: Yoka
is sitting up very straight, as if trying to move away, while I
turned towards him with my lips ready for a kiss…I also remember
a picture where Tamara was photographed with a huge bouquet of lilacs. It was a beautiful picture. My Wonderful Doll Is Broken
Father brought this doll for me from somewhere. It had wavy hair,
pink cheeks and could open and close its eyes. I do not remember
what her name was, but it had a bed of its own, with a mattress
and a blanket. I took great care of the doll and did not even take
it outside when I went to play. The doll was kept in her bed on
the floor in the corner of our children's room. One day Sonya was
washing the floor and asked me to take the doll out. I took the
bed with the doll to another room. When Sonya finished she told
me to bring the doll back. I took the doll's bed, holding its front
and back sides with my both hands and carried it, together with
my doll, into our room. Suddenly the doll fell from the little bed
and its head broke into bits. I cried out and my tears just flowed. I cried bitterly for a long time and just could not believe that
my doll was no more. Many times later Sonya remembered how it all
happened and she always said: "It was heartbreaking to listen
to your crying. You cried so terribly as if a human being had died. "
This was the beginning of the long story of my doll. There was a "doll clinic" called the "Puppenklinik"
in German on the corner of Elizabetes st. (later Kirov St. ) and
Alexander St. (later Lenin St. ). This was the place where there
was once a dairy restaurant and later that spot became a hotel. My doll was brought to this clinic to be repaired. We chose a new
head for her, a head that did not break. However, either because
there was no money to pay for repairing it or because the matter
was accidently forgotten, the doll was left in that clinic for about
a year. When we finally came to pick it up it transpired that the
doll had been sold. I felt my loss once again and took it very hard. We must have been short of money then and it was not possible to
buy me another doll. I therefore started saving money for a new
doll and that lasted for about two years. I must have been about
10 when at last Mother and I went and bought a new doll for me. The new doll, called Vera, had an unbreakable head and blond hair. Mother made a dress for her from a material in black and white checks,
as well as a black apron like the ones we wore at school. Vera "lived"
with me until the war and was kept in the cupboard with the other
dolls which were supposed to be given as a present to Iren when
she turns 4… The dolls remained in the cupboard: the war started
before Iren turned 4. I left Riga on 18 of June and Iren became
4 years old on the 10 of July. My plan did not work out because
of these 22 days… However, my "doll's cult" became even
stronger: after my first "rag doll" that I had in Crimea,
the second one that I had on the train, the third one that broke,
the fourth one, Vera, stayed with me for some 17 years…
Our First Apartment in Riga
Our
first apartment was on Pakgauznaya St. (or Noliktavas iela in Latvian). This is where the tram No. 6 used to stop near the Pioneers' Palace
before the war. The apartment was a furnished one, I think. It had
four rooms and another one, a very tiny one. The rooms were all
connected. Zyama and I still did not go to school (we should have
gone really, I was already 8 by then), only Tusya and Benno did. This was the apartment where Sashen'ka was brought to after he had
been born. Tusya became a scouts' guide while we were living there
and her friends ( Roza Levin and Bronya Idelzak were among them)
used to gather there. Tusya was considered grown-up and independent
and I was still the "little one". However, I seemed to
have developed a talent of some sort: I started to play chess and
Benno used to teach me. He played with me in that tiny room we had. He used to explain the moves to me very patiently and he was very
glad that I understood it all so well. I treasured those chess games
with him…
The Apartment at No. 25 Suvorova St.
I am surprised that I still remember all those addresses. It seems
to me that we did not live long at this apartment (Suvorova St. later became Krishjan Baron St. ) and we only lived there for the
winter or the spring. …Across the street from our windows there
was a kiosk that used to sell fruits. Zyama and I often sat near
the window and looked at what was going on in the street. In the
evenings the kiosk was brightly lit and we watched people enter
and pick their apples and pears.
One day we started playing a game: we imagined that some thieves
came into the kiosk and while some of them tried to distract the
salesmen the others quickly picked up some fruits, put them into
shopping bags and quickly moved towards the exit. We tried to guess
which of the shoppers would look like good thieves and which of
them might be successful in leaving the kiosk unobserved. It turned
into a fascinating game…
Something Interesting at Aunt Sonya's
During that winter Aunt Sonya moved to another apartment in the
Opeshkins' house. Her new apartment was a large one and I loved
coming there. The reason for this was the fact that Yoka and Tamara
always had governesses who taught them German, English, drawing
and reciting short dramatic scenes. I remember that a large performance
was planned for a date in the spring and Zyama and I were supposed
to take part in it too. I was to appear dressed as the Sun. A special
orange dress was made for me from crepe paper and I was also to
have a special headdress shaped like a sun with rays of light. The
headdress was decorated with gold paper. It was all very beautiful
and great fun. I used to draw together with Yoka and Tamara. Their
governess was very good at drawing. When she used to correct our
drawings by a few lines of her own these drawings came alive. We
often drew "from nature". I remember very well having
drawn Tamara's doll in a blue dress. The governess fixed up a little
my drawing of the doll's face and it became a real portrait. This
was a picture done in water colors. I was not as good with water
colors as I was with drawing, but the governess corrected my "creation"
a bit and it became very pretty. I remember that I was uncomfortable
that it was not all my own work, but I was very pleased that it
came out so well.
Here is another recollection connected with Sonya's apartment. Our
family must have been moving at the time or there was something
at home because of which I was allowed to stay with Sonya for a
few days. I liked it there so much that at the end of the arranged
period I did not feel like going back home. Mother allowed me to
stay there as long as I liked and I lived there, as far as I remember,
for 6 weeks. Then one morning my nose started bleeding (this happened
to me years later too). They put a metal key to the back of my head
and then some cold water, but the blood was still coming and the
whole towel turned red. I started crying and felt very sorry for
myself. My heart was heavy and I felt rather uncomfortable. Suddenly
a woman came into the room (she must have been a cook or a governess)
and said: "This is God's punishment for your refusal to go
home!" I did not believe her, but suddenly I felt that I wanted
to go home! Until that day I did not think of home at all, after
all, I saw everyone when they came to Sonya almost daily. I went
home…
There is something else I remember about that period. Zyama hated cauliflower (he called it "a frog") and cooked
carrots. No-one ever made him eat them at home, but at Aunt Sonya's
place this became a subject for discussion, especially by the governesses. They used to threaten him: "If you are not going to eat the
cauliflower you aren't going to get any dessert!" This threat
used to have the opposite effect on Zyama: he rejected both the
cauliflower and the dessert and just would not eat. His face turned
into an ironic or even a gloating grin. Our "freedom-loving"
tribe could not stand any punishments and there were never any of
them at home. I still cannot stand it when children are being specially
punished for something…
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